The week before Thanksgiving has that sort of collegiate homecoming feel to it. As the blessed Thursday looms closer and closer, life becomes increasingly frenzied and hectic; it’s no wonder holidays are a difficult time for many people. Holidays have always been my favorite. Like I’ve written in previous posts, events and holidays are my Super Bowl and, given the cadence of fall-winter festivities, the fact that we’re halfway through November means we’re well into the post-season.
The past several years my holiday cheer was dulled by the combination of many things going on in the life of Brynn. Life was good but the interludes of not so good dimmed my festive fire. Unfortunately for me nearest and dearest I wasn’t subscribing to the “fake it ‘til you make it” mentality or just “grin and bear it” mantra. In business speak, I wouldn’t say I was a value-add to most holiday gatherings. Evidently wallowing alone wasn’t on my list of Christmas activities, I wanted everyone in the trenches with me… Christmas 2017 Brynn was a real joy to be around.
So, this year, I refuse to let anything get in the way of my holiday cheer. Despite my stress level rising with each passing day, I’m going to remember it’s all part of the fun and smile like I mean it. As an aside, I have a friend who used to tell me to smile throughout the shitshow of the past eight months at random times, and honestly if you haven’t tried it – it really does make you feel happier.
In addition to intermittent smiling (just kidding, that’s not actually a thing – and if you’re an old man and you tell me to smile on the street you’ll likely receive the brunt of all the angst and fury I’ve suppressed for years so, just don’t) I’ve compiled a list of things from the past several weeks that have stoked that festive spirit. Yeah yeah I’m thankful for family and friends, health and home, and all of that jazz. This isn’t that kind of list. I just thought I’d share some of the daily encounters this holiday season that have made me chuckle or provided a much-needed escape from the onslaught of holiday drama. Here goes…
– The seven-year-old boy walking home from school with his nanny relaying the details of lunchtime: “the playground is just SLAMMED this week… kids everywhere, and the Monkey Bars were filthy! I can’t wait for some “me time” on Thanksgiving.” Incredibly relatable content, little buddy.
– The crotchety old bat who yelled at me for letting Hudson poop in front of her building: “That is so unkind!”
*fumbles with headphones/poop bag/phone/gloves* “Excuse me ma’am?”
“Why don’t you have that thing do that on your street?”
“This is my street”
“Well, move!”
God bless you, lady, but it appears no one told you your funeral was last year. Happy Thanksgiving you sassy old B.
– The early first snow this week. I love snow, it’s festive and I’m always dreaming of a white Christmas. For about five minutes the side streets of New York looked like a Nancy Meyers movie. If you timed your walk between avenues right there was a blissful silence only freshly fallen powder provides… Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Snow in a city of eleventy billion people is always a cluster, and this week’s storm was no different. 400 fender-benders (that’s a real number), Central Park Traverse closings (specifically 79th street), and so many downed branches the city now has the mood of an apocalyptic movie from the early 2000’s with too many extras. In this particular film the extras are all drunk and wielding umbrellas angrily. But, yay snow!
– A perfect sunny Saturday run with Ms. Anna and Hudson. We were on a mission to return items to Rent the Runway and get exercise at the same time. I donned my trusty running backpack (nerd alert) and we suited up for our trip down the West Side Highway path. Riverside park was alight with crisp fall sunshine, it was hard not to smile. South we went past the cruise ships and and impound lot (been there once or twice). A quick salute to the Intrepid and several thousand tourists dodged later, our five miler was complete on 15th street. Alas, Rent the Runway was closed (really) for a private event. Our imminent post-run hunger quickly turned to hanger and we cabbed it back uptown. Some might call that a swing and a miss but we were all smiles as we cheers-ed our Lenny’s sandwiches and came up with a sartorial plan B.
– An email from Amazon apologizing for a refund they never credited to me, promising to rectify the issue immediately and offering a $25 gift card for the inconvenience. Your HQ2 may destroy my city’s infrastructure and change the demographic landscape of a beloved borough but you’re a classy broad, Amazon. Attendees of this weekend’s Friendsgiving can thank Jeff Bezos for their curated assortment of Thanksgiving themed party favors. I call the turkey leg headband.
– The NYC Marathon. I’ve run it a few times, but I really love to watch it (I’ll let a new crop of over-eager twenty somethings run their legs off, also I’m lazy). It was a perfect fall day for this year’s race, foliage was at its peak and the added hour of sleep seemed to lighten the mood of New Yorkers everywhere. Anna, her brother, and I trekked east towards Central Park and found a good spot to see her cousin and friend as they cruised by. Neither runner noticed us in the crowd, but Anna cried like a baby the entire time anyways. She was so moved by the inspiring athletes running by that I started tearing up too. I played it off as allergies and continued to cheer. What? I’m not crying, you’re crying!
– Learning how to blow dry my hair. Seriously. Round brush and all. Though this is a skill I’ve wanted to master for years, drying one’s hair is the most annoying activity of all time. Why now? Long story short I felt compelled to dye my hair pink on Halloween for Harley Quinn 2.0. Evidently, I used too much spray or the spray was expired. Whatever the mishap – we may never know – but to get rid of the hideous pink color I found myself washing it twice daily… providing ample opportunity and a fresh canvas to perfect my brush-twirling and dryer positioning. RIP Harley.
– Encountering a nearly topless photo shoot in the trash room of a building down the street from my apartment. The model was leaning provocatively on actual trashcans, navel and a nipple exposed, like it was her kitchen counter. She then SAT DOWN in the trash room on the grated floor (which I know for a fact the 82nd street rats use as their their own personal gymnasium) and posed some more. WTF? Gross. Hilarious. Only in New York.
– An out-of-towner I didn’t want to stiff arm into the street. As I rode the PATH train to work one morning my thoughts were rudely interrupted by a man seated to my right. He clearly didn’t see the F Off written on my forehead. Yes?
“I’m headed to Newark and bought this MetroCard I definitely won’t be using again… would you like it?” I was so shocked at the kind gesture I could barely produce an audible thank you, or even a sound acknowledging that yes, I would very much like his Metrocard. Not all heroes wear capes.
– My family, my friends, and my health. Oh, and most importantly, Hudson.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I’ll be writing from Australia next week – the Dog Hair Diaries will be putting another shrimp on the barbie and taking a much-needed vacation. Stay tuned for useless ramblings of the international variety. Oh, and don’t forget to smile. It’s a thing.
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