So here we are. It’s the end of April. Was April an extremely busy month for anyone else? No? Maybe? It was for us. And by us I mean Hudson and me. As I sit in my bedroom writing this, Hudson is lazing on the bed behind me. Every few minutes I can hear his head lift from my monogrammed sham to give me a death stare that beckons me to join him in bed. “Soon, Hudson Bob the third, soon” I say.
When not at the office, working and writing now occurs in my bedroom, where my desk has found a new home opposite the end of my bed. My dresser, which was moved to accommodate my absurdly sized desk, now resides against the adjacent wall. Glancing over my shoulder I can see the pictures of family and friends scattered about the top of its glossy wooden surface. To my right is the industrial cabinet/dresser monstrosity that used to live in my office. My new furniture formation gives my bedroom an extremely cozy feel, and also makes it feel a bit like the Raymour and Flanigan down in Columbus circle. I’m kidding, I actually love the new set up and I almost died of shock when I was able to fit all of my belongings into one room again.
So, what’s up? you’re probably thinking. Well, we have a third roommate! What was my home office for a couple of years has now been converted back into a bedroom for our newest arrival, Ale. Yes, the men’s grille is once again operating at full capacity. I fought the addition of a third roommate, but my bank account screamed louder than I and here we are. Truthfully, it’s been a game changer. Hudson now has a buddy on the days I go to the office (Ale is a professional figure skater and her hours aren’t your typical 9-5) and the break on rent each month is just what the doctor ordered. I also realized that I spent quite a bit of time walking between my bedroom and office in search of things… socks, underwear, phones, chargers, you name it.
As far as logistical life changes, that’s really it since I last wrote. Work has been busy, but better than ever before and Hudson and I have lulled into a blissful schedule I could only have dreamed of this time last year. If we recall one year ago Hudson was basically three-legged, on drugs 24/7 and in need of constant supervision. I was living alone at the time in this three-bedroom walk-up and didn’t have a penny to throw at the wall. These days, I still don’t have many pennies, but we’ve come a long way, Hudson and me. He’s now on all fours again and I’m finally getting back on my feet.
It’s my birthday this week. 32. It feels more like my 30th, though. Not because I don’t feel 32, but because I feel like I’ve actually matured as a person in the past year. It sucked, don’t get me wrong, when I learned early last year that the life I thought I had wasn’t actually happening. Looking back, I realize I had bought into it, I had the guy, the apartment, the job, a dog even. It turns out people can be made up of smoke and mirrors, and I reflected a mirage right back. It takes two to tango as they say, and I wore those dancing shoes out.
With my birthday approaching, I realize how far I’ve come since I turned 31. Others may not see the progress as clearly as I can, but as I’ve learned over the past twelve months, that matters very little. If you feel like you’re living week to week waiting for something to give, stop. That something that’s supposed to give is you. Give yourself the truth. Inventory the people in your life and places you find yourself. If these parts don’t add up to the whole life you hoped for, cuts need to be made. Make them. Do things for you, learn, chase your dreams alone. Choose yourself and don’t look back. This realization hasn’t made me better than anyone or made my life perfect, but it has aged me in the best way. Smoke clouds any mirror you look into and distorts the reflection. For me this new year is about clarity.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. Finally – at the ripe age of 32 – I’m ready to win.
The Dog Hair Diaries 