You might remember a post I wrote earlier this year entitled 2020. I hate this movie. No? Well, honestly, I don’t remember what it was about either so don’t worry. Regardless, it turns out 2020 isn’t a move after all. It seems H1 was the pilot for a very dark mini-series (one I pray doesn’t get renewed for a second season) akin to Sharp Objects, only it’s set now and the Munchausen by proxy is on a global scale, drinking before noon is considered self-care, and a tooth-tiled floor doesn’t shock anyone.
The past month has been the wildest episode of the series yet. Thirty days ago, by way of a half-eaten pizza and several thousand white claws, I became a single woman and moved out of Massachusetts. The details aren’t important. Ok, some of them are hilarious and will be shared at some point. But more importantly, while the past month has been at times terrifying – it’s been the happiest time of my life. In the midst of my homelessness, as I wondered where (tf) I was going to live, my family and my job held me steady. Pandemic breakups are horrifying, yes, but it led me to where I am now.
Speaking of horrifying, Ruth Bader Ginsburg died today. Yet another tragedy 2020 has thrown our way to put into perspective the frivolous dramas us mortals harp on day in and day out. A lifetime fighting for justice, specifically for the rights of women and minorities, clobbers getting through a pandemic breakup any day. Nonetheless, on my walk with Hudson this evening, I thought of her. I tried to put the version of her I’d come to know in documentaries I’d seen out of my mind. I wanted the real RBG.
All I could think of was her showing up at the Pearly Gates pissed off that she didn’t stay alive long enough to ensure an appropriate replacement could be selected. After hip checking one one side of the gold monstrosity before her she stumbles into heaven. Regaining her composure, she looks around, ahead of schedule and annoyed by the lack of direction. Ignoring the relatives and saints that finally begin to welcome her, she’s only interested in seeing one person. Marty. In my version of events, upon seeing him she breaks into a run, stopping just short to take him in. Before they embrace, she shrugs and rolls her eyes – no words necessary to mark her annoyance. He knows. She’s pissed. It’s okay he says. And finally, they walk off hand in hand. Just like that, despite one last dissent, she’s happy to be home.
She had good innings, my buddy Brucey would say. She sure did. What a life. What a person. What heart. What courage and intellect. Most importantly, what character and knowing she must have had to choose the life she lived. Don’t worry, tonight’s ramble isn’t going to be a RBG inspired be all you can be diatribe, but I can’t help to remain in awe of her a bit longer. So tonight, as I walked the empty streets of my new hometown, I felt emboldened by her. The feeling made me think of something I heard once about chasing one’s dreams. It was along the lines of “if you want to do something, don’t wait. Someone somewhere is chasing the same dream and might get there first. Why not you? Make the choice and do it.” Surely it was more eloquent in person. And yes, it sounds rather feeble if you measure it against all RBG did in her life, but here we are.
I don’t know what RBG had planned for herself or the exact choices she made and when. I certainly don’t know how much of her life unfolded because of being somewhere at a certain time and place, but I can assure you becoming a Supreme Court Justice didn’t just happen. There were choices, sacrifices made, hard work, and likely a great deal of pain to create a life so extraordinary. Today, though she might have been annoyed at the timing, she sure as shit is happy to see Marty. It’s time to rest. So, rest in peace, Justice Ginsburg. Rest in honor. Rest in love. Rest knowing that your life will continue to inspire us all and thank you for your service.
Here’s to you, RBG, and may everyone choose their dreams with justice in mind and hope in their heart. I know I am. Let’s do this.
The Dog Hair Diaries 